Let's play a game. Google you kinja handle and post the first image result.

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem) 01/29/2018 at 11:00 • Filed to: None

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100

I’ll go first. The first image from googling CalzoneGolem is :

Yes, a golem made out of calzones.

TheRealBicycleBuck > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:02

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Google’s smart. It pulled my profile pic.

Dusty Ventures > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:03

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Here’s the first image (it’s from a post on Oppo)

Here’s the first non-Oppo result

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:03

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Ummm, diaper hamster? That’s not turbocharged or a squirrel google.

jimz > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:04

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I have no clue who this is.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:04

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Secret Senna gift picture

With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:05

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S65 > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:06

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I got an AMG S65 

CalzoneGolem > jimz 01/29/2018 at 11:06

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That’s Jimz .. obviously.

CalzoneGolem > S65 01/29/2018 at 11:06

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Makes sense.

$kaycog > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:08

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From Oppo.................

https://oppositelock.kinja.com/the-real-kaycog-1462865802

Matt Nichelson > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:08

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My profile picture.

CalzoneGolem > $kaycog 01/29/2018 at 11:08

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You know it had to be a girl next to a car though, right?

Milky > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:09

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I’m okay with this.

$kaycog > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:09

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That or a Ford GT. There were some interesting images.

CalzoneGolem > Matt Nichelson 01/29/2018 at 11:09

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It’s nice to see the larger versions of people’s avatars.

Urambo Tauro > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:10

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My avatar.

The first pic that I don’t recognize comes from the GMT400.com forum, where I’m a member. Must be somebody else’s avatar, or maybe a progress pic of their build. No idea how it got linked to my name.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:10

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First non-oppo result is some maniac taking a 5th gen 4Runner down Tail of the Dragon.

Wacko > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:10

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k not the first but need to be mentioned. (I know this post will get an extra dose of kinja but here we go)

wack·o

wak/

NORTH AMERICAN informal

adjective

1 .mad; insane.“his willingness to pursue every wacko idea that enters his mind”

noun

1 .a crazy person.

CalzoneGolem > $kaycog 01/29/2018 at 11:10

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Probably shouldn’t google it at work haha.

CalzoneGolem > Milky 01/29/2018 at 11:10

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That’s a good one.

Azrek > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:11

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First one...but the others are better.

Misspelled

WilliamsSW > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:11

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Google thinks I’m searching for Sherwin Williams paint.

Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:11

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Think my lengthy handle is distorting this pic. Full username brings up profile pic:

Just Bob Loblaw brings up my namesake:

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:12

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Everyone always asks about the sauce....no one ever asks about the man :(

CalzoneGolem > Wacko 01/29/2018 at 11:12

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Holy Stromboli! This post is all wacked!

bob and john > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:12

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my profile picture where I’m having off Ebay at the gap

CalzoneGolem > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 01/29/2018 at 11:12

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Aww yeah that’s the stuff right there.

EL_ULY > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:13

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Someone on Twitter stealing my identity

CalzoneGolem > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 01/29/2018 at 11:14

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Do you need someone to talk to, bro?

MonkeePuzzle > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:14

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did I mean “monkey puzzle” AHHH NO!

some wedding photographer’s company is monkeepuzzle, so most of the hits are that. but my twitter profile pic is 2nd row, and me as robin in 3rd row, so it kinda works.

CalzoneGolem > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney 01/29/2018 at 11:14

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He looks impressed.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:14

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This is an Oppo logo I made for a kid on here like two years ago. First image that came up.

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:14

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User pic comes up. Meh

CalzoneGolem > WilliamsSW 01/29/2018 at 11:14

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That orange is bad.

CalzoneGolem > Azrek 01/29/2018 at 11:15

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Azrek Arabian Stud ... that’s solid gold right there.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:15

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It’s my avatar lol.

CalzoneGolem > EL_ULY 01/29/2018 at 11:15

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Needs more googly eyes.

CalzoneGolem > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 01/29/2018 at 11:16

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Fancy!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:16

2

Thankfully, I have someone in my life who gets me...

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:16

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It’s pretty stable in corners but I’d hold up traffic for miles I bet. Still want to try.

diplodicus > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:16

1

WilliamsSW > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:17

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The blue isn’t helping it, either. And I say this despite being a U. of Illinois alum (orange and blue are school colors).

The whole thing is pretty hideous.

DipodomysDeserti > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:17

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“Skychismo bait” from Follow the Trail of Headgaskets.

CalzoneGolem > MonkeePuzzle 01/29/2018 at 11:17

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I love the Monkees puzzles

CalzoneGolem > DipodomysDeserti 01/29/2018 at 11:18

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Looks delicious.

f86sabre > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:20

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Not shocking.

fintail > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:20

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Pretty simple:

HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:22

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When I search my old username, though....

Try searching mine. @The slammed, cambered, 2000 fart can Civic Type R-icer

TheRevanchist > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:23

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Not what I expected, but is just fine.

TheRealBicycleBuck > $kaycog 01/29/2018 at 11:23

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That Audi looks like it was painted with Vantablack .

Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:23

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As he should be, look at the size of that book!

nerd_racing > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:25

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Mercedes Streeter > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:25

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You get a selfie of me...three times...and images I’ve used in my posts more times. I suppose the remainders of the pictures are results for “smart car girl”

functionoverfashion > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:25

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from a short piece about how this woman has a simple car that she loves, but treats only as a transportation appliance, and is looking to replace with something newer before this one has mechanical problems...

HammerheadFistpunch > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:27

1

LOREM IPSUM > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:28

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The first was just a picture of an “H” but a little further down was...

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:29

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duurtlang > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:30

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After a few more similar pieces of clothing I got this:

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:30

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That is just my basic name.

If I add all my additional text I get my profile pic.

sony1492 > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:31

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The first ones for a product so I give it partial credit of first image.

Second one’s predictable

Azrek > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:32

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Azrek was a horse sent to England to help breed better stock. At least, that is part of the story I know.
I picked the name as Azrek or Azreq is “blue” in Gulf Dialect of Arabic and I liked it...back in my AOL dialup days.

Tekamul > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:32

1

I didn’t know this was a thing

I have no idea what it means.

interstate366, now In The Industry > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:33

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After a bunch of old YouTube clips (I have a channel, but haven’t uploaded anything in 5 years), the first image for interstate366 comes from my lone Answers Of The Day appearance on Jalopnik a couple years ago, before my name became the unwieldy mess it is now.

$kaycog > TheRealBicycleBuck 01/29/2018 at 11:34

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It really looks weird.

DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:34

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It’s not surprising it’s one of my Redbubble designs.

nermal > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:39

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Some of the fan art available a few images down is..... disturbing.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/29/2018 at 11:39

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There’s a picture of your wagon about 3-4 rows down on mine from a site I’ve never heard of.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:41

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R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:44

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Well, the problem with being so deeply entranched in the Google e-ecosystem is that images search only brings up my own posts and photographs:

Land Rover posts, F1 stuff, FoST stuff check/check/check

E90M3 > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:44

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Ironically from oppo.

OPPOsaurus WRX > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:46

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Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:49

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thejustache > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:53

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Not surprisingly it’s a mustache. It’s all mustaches.

FSI > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:56

1

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:58

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Here’s the first row of pictures. I can’t say I’m surprised.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 11:59

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Here’s mine

Future next gen S2000 owner > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 12:05

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Future next gen S2000 owner:

I approve.

AfromanGTO > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 12:07

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One of the pictures I used for a DD, Track, or burn....

CalzoneGolem > functionoverfashion 01/29/2018 at 12:09

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That sweater is clearly function over fashion.

user314 > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 01/29/2018 at 12:10

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It’s from the commercial for the 2017 Kia Soul Turbo:

CalzoneGolem > HammerheadFistpunch 01/29/2018 at 12:10

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So brooding.

Much coverall.

CalzoneGolem > duurtlang 01/29/2018 at 12:12

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It never occurred to me that there’d be a translation of your username.

jimz > Wacko 01/29/2018 at 12:12

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Junkrat aka Rick Sanchez: Fury Road Edition > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 12:13

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It’s my avatar.

CalzoneGolem > f86sabre 01/29/2018 at 12:14

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Nailed it.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 12:14

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Far from my best work on Oppo stickers...

CalzoneGolem > nermal 01/29/2018 at 12:15

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Yeah, I bet it get’s real weird real fast.

HammerheadFistpunch > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 12:15

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replacing 2 injectors because of cheap gas.

DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 01/29/2018 at 12:16

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This is strange.

CalzoneGolem > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo 01/29/2018 at 12:17

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Hon hon hon

CalzoneGolem > AfromanGTO 01/29/2018 at 12:18

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So sex!

CalzoneGolem > thejustache 01/29/2018 at 12:18

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Just ‘staches?

CalzoneGolem > Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish 01/29/2018 at 12:19

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Yeah ... that’s probably a dangerous one to google.

CalzoneGolem > nerd_racing 01/29/2018 at 12:20

1

AUTOZAM

AUTOZAM

AUTOZAM

AUTOZAM

CalzoneGolem > Carbon Fiber Sasquatch 01/29/2018 at 12:20

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Nice!

CalzoneGolem > diplodicus 01/29/2018 at 12:21

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That’ll do it!

CalzoneGolem > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 01/29/2018 at 12:22

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The bike is my favorite.

duurtlang > CalzoneGolem 01/29/2018 at 12:28

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But there is. They are two words I combined. ‘duurt’ has to do with duration, ‘lang’=long. In Dutch, obviously. “(something) takes forever”, if you will. It’s something you could use as a catch phrase, in an annoyed or mockingly annoyed way. When your car is taking its time to start/accelerate/whatever, when subscribing to Jalopnik (pre-google/twitter/FB/burner login) takes forever, when you’re waiting on your partner to finally clear the bathroom or something similar.

I’ve had people thinking it’s an actual name. Nope.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish! 01/29/2018 at 12:29

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Yep it was that site where I saw a picture of you wagon.

CalzoneGolem > duurtlang 01/29/2018 at 12:30

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Aww yiss! Learned some Dutch today.